It’s a daily struggle to search for jobs and not find a thing. I am often questioning whether I should take another minimum wage internship in my desired industry or take a job unrelated to my degree. I’m terrified when it comes to my future.
I really want a job in the magazine industry, but during the last two months I’ve started to think about giving up on my magazine job dream and just go after a job that pays the bills. Would that completely screw me over so badly that I wouldn’t be able to find a way back into the industry?
Do you know how freaking competitive this industry is? It’s literally cut throat. Women backstab one another without a care. I have a difficult decision to make and I think about it daily. It begins to eat at me and consume my entire mind. How will I know if I choose the right thing or not?
My next question is why do we choose to even go to college if we’re not guaranteed a job afterward? It’s a huge risk we’re taking. Again, how do you know which direction to go? No one knows what lays ahead. Life is always so uncertain. We’ll never know which route to choose on any given day. I struggle with job stuff every day. I have an associate degree in journalism and a bachelor’s in English. Where has it gotten me? At 24, I’m still without a job. Sure, I have an internship, but that’s not paying me enough to live.
It’s pretty sad and pathetic when you have to make up excuses to your friends when they ask you to go out to dinner. I hate worrying about money. I don’t talk about it. I’m sick of thinking about it. I’m literally mortified about not having enough funds to go out for a bite to eat.
How the hell do you tell your friends, “I can’t because I don’t have money.”
“Really, you don’t have like 10 bucks to head to the local diner?” they say.
Nope, all of my money goes toward my commute and car payments.
Two weeks ago when I went to a Cosmopolitan magazine event, I witnessed desperate gals shove their resumes in the hands of these magazine editors, who in my opinion probably didn’t care. They want a job so badly that they will do whatever it takes, even something potentially embarrassing.
I used to believe I’d be rich, famous and successful with a big time magazine job. I began to imagine living in a New York City condo with my family. I’d have so much money that I wouldn’t know what to do with it. I would tell my parents not to worry about getting old because I’d take care of them.
But even once I land a full-time job, I still have to worry about my damn student loans. They will always be there since I’m about $30,000 in debt! The worrying and frustration never stops at this age. Another thing I worry about is being laid off. What happens if I get the opportunity, but am let go due to the economy and low funds?
Nothing is guaranteed and I’m frightened more than you’ll ever know.